2007-02-15 - 10:58 a.m.
I never wished I was Jewish before in my life. I read Skinny Legs and All and loved the juxtaposition Tom Robbins posed where a Jew and an Arab open a restaurant together in modern day New York. Growing up, we had a Jewish neighbor and she asked me to watch her house for twice. The first time I did a bang-up job, got some good scratch and earned another opportunity.
Didn't do so good that second time. Threw a party where only dudes showed up. Took out her car and wrecked the front bumper because I forgot to turn on the lights the second time I took it out at night (I took the car out a total of three times). It was just another sad example, after about 5,000 years of them, of a Jew getting the shaft. The neighbor called the cops and I got a record that was expunged when I turned eighteen.
My parents never talked to the neighbor again. They said it was because she tattled on me to the police. You have to remember, it was the 90's. There was a Democrat in the White House. People had enough money that accountability could be put off a day or two or ten. Remember when Hillary found out that maybe she was being done wrong by her old man, Slick Willie? It was the 90's so she just rolled with it. I think she became a senator or something.
I think they stopped talking to the neighbor because she was Jewish and here I am, in the Bush filled subterfuge, wishing I were Jewish so I could bust out with the tag line:
He's an Arab and I am a Jew and together we are Blinverted, please don't let Robbins know I am ripping off his brilliant idea
But I'm not, so I can't and I won't. It's like I never said anything at all, which is exactly what Tim Hardaway wishes could happen with his magical rhetoric on bigotry. His words of hate will polarize us further because some people agree with him and some don't. From hate comes love so remember what the hippies say:
"By hating gay people with such ignorant fierceness, Tim, you can one day love what it is you hate. You can love gay people, Tim, and love brings us closer. I think it's your hit, bro. Shit, you don't smoke either? No wonder you're so fucking pissy..."
And on from there as the hippy I am making up waxes on about, of all things, peace and love. Love takes me to the love fest yesterday. I hope everyone had a Happy VD. Stephen Colbert talked about HPV on VD. There is a vaccine for warts now and the governor of Texas wants it to be mandatory for all of the ladies to get inoculated. As crazy as that sounds, The Boston Celtics ended their 18 game losing streak last night by thumping the Milwaukee Bucks. After 18 straight losses, I think you could have told the Celtic team anything last night and they would have bought it.
I sure hope they read this.
