2005-10-08 - 8:07 a.m.
Dear President Bush,
So much to say to you so the question is where to start.
Where to start?
I am writing this to piggy-back on what that steel-eyed soldier who found my cave said to me. He said he there for you and I naturally believed he was opening up a dialogue between the two of us. That was the problem I had with your old man, he wasn�t a communicator. Call me Hitler? I wish, that guy made a wave. I just took Kuwait. This time I didn�t take nothing this time.
What�s up with that?
So much still to say.
I think I should do some explaining now
Oh, here�s something. I hid my weapons of mass destruction in Saudi Arabia. I saw how you dealt with them and knew that was the place to hide them. They gave me their word they wouldn�t use them and considering my predicament, I had to trust them. Trust. What a small word for such an important intangible, is that right? You cannot see trust. Things you see are tangible and things that are there that you can�t see are intangible. Right Mr. President? My English is not so good.
Oh, here�s something else. I do know where Osama�s been hiding. A cave. I cannot locate the cave however so forgive me if I got your hopes up. I just make a joke. Everyone knows Osama is in a cave but no one can find the stupid cave.
Am I right?
Here�s something I hear. Your daughters are of age to fight in war. Why not? My boys were leading my army. Got �em killed but at least they were employed with good benefits. You Americans all worry about benefits right? Your daughters get good job in Iraq now. You guys are all over the place. Seriously, I cannot throw cat without hitting an American now.
Well, it about time for dinner. My English gets worse as I get hungry. I want for this to start a dialogue. Maybe you can help me get back into power and get my nukes back from Saudi Arabia. Your brother not gonna get nearly the use out of Korea that he could get from me.
Please let me go. No one else cares really. I have Kurds over my cell every other weekend. All is forgiven. I a good man now. I learned my lessons.
Please Dubya, for Jeb�s sake. You think if I was a good leader
Time to eat.
Saddam Innsein
Saddam Hussein
